July 2002 Eight Legged Freaks

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Reviewed by Monikka Stallworth Eight Legged Freaks Just as every story has an ending, every story has a moral, too. Granted, some morals are deeper and more relevant than others, but a moral is a moral is a moral. That said, the moral of “Eight Legged Freaks” is, uh … “All it takes is one small accident to turn an itsy-bisty spider into a bloodthirsty beast!” … or, how about - “Spiders and toxic waste don’t mix”. Well, moral or not, that’s just what the residents of the rural mining town of Prosperity learn after a barrel of toxic who-knows-what spills into the local water supply causing hundreds of spiders to grow into SUV-sized man-eaters. David Arquette stars as Chris McCormick, a former resident of Prosperity who has just returned following the death of his father, the owner of the town’s gold mine. And Kari Wuhrer co-stars as Sheriff Sam Parker, a single mother of two that’s tough enough to shame the local bullies. When the spiders attack, its up to Chris and Sheriff Sam, former lovers, to mobilize an eclectic group of townspeople into battle against the murderous eight-legged freaks. The spider-fighting cast is rounded out by Mike (Scott Terra), the sheriff’s brainy son, Ashley (Scarlett Johnson), her sullen teenage daughter, Harlan Griffith (Doug E. Doug), the town’s paranoid radio announcer and Deputy Pete “I’m-not-as-stupid as-I-seem” Willis (Rick Overton). Based on a short film by director Ellory Elkayem, “Eight Legged Freaks” reaches back to the 1950s – an era chock full of low-budget, often cheesy sci-fi flicks – and, with the use of a gazillion computer generated images, produces a lowbrow, often amusing monster-bug jubilee. Producer Dean Devlin recalls “we were wondering if there was a way to recreate that kind of film with more sophisticated visual effects and state-of-the-art production values, to bring it into the modern era but not lose the charm and humor that made those films distinctive in the first place.” Mission Accomplished. Because lets face it, spiders alone do not make for very interesting antagonists. They can’t talk, they can’t fly, they can’t spew fire, they can’t even make really evil faces. Sure they’ve got eight legs, are great at spinning webs and may even be poisonous, but the use of computer graphics certainly gives this film its punch. Full of gross-out moments, “Eight Legged Freaks” promises at least a few grip-your-neighbor type frights. With loads of spider squishing and bug guts galore, the film does offer some surprising jolts and even a few spine-tingling shivers. It’s one for the teenage masses and also, of course, for those adults willing to regress a bit and enjoy a bug flick.