July 2001 Planet of the Apes : Too Much Monkey Business…

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Reviewed by Shelby J. Jones Planet of the Apes - Too Much Monkey Business… “Planet of The Apes,”…wow…wow…wow…!” It’s almost impossible not to be excited about this film. With scientist constantly discovering new theories on why apes are probably our forefathers, this film comes along at the right time to shed some possible theories on the issue and to also re-tell the tale which was done very well in 1968 starring a young Charlton Heston. I wonder if he carried a gun on the set? Hmmm. In this 2001 hyped up Mark Wahlberg, human/ape activist, wanna-be cult classic, Tim Burton drops the ball like a washed up fullback trying to gain an extra yard on 4th and 1. When I arrived at the theater I was really excited about seeing this film. I imagined that it was an opportunity for the filmmakers to explore some ideas, scare us to death and “get-it-on” one-on-one with some 800 lb silverbacks. Instead, we were served a shallow performance by Wahlberg as well as pointless messages from Burton. Even the space simulations were mediocre. “Spaceballs” (Mel Brooks, 1987) looks more and more like a space age masterpiece after seeing this lackluster effort. The plot is too simple for the topic and the pace of the film never slows down. It appears as if the filmmakers started making the movie with a certain flair and couldn’t reverse what they knew was a train wreck waiting to happen. Thanks to a hilarious performance by Paul Giamatti (Big Momma’s House, The Negotiator) or I would have been really disappointed with those monkey performances. Hopefully, Fox will go back to the drawing board and hire a new writer and director if they are planning on taking a crack at this film again. Maybe they should consider hiring some monkeys, oops, apes to write and direct it? If we continue to allow humans to tell the story, they will say that this film is a classic. NOT!